I Don’t Know How to Live With What I’ve Done
I’m writing this here because I have nowhere else to go. I can’t tell anyone in my real life. I don’t think anyone would understand, and honestly, I don’t even understand it myself.
Something happened between me and my mom that never should have happened. It wasn’t something planned—it came out of a really messed up situation where boundaries got blurred and emotions were all over the place. That doesn’t excuse it, I know that. There’s no excuse for what we did.
Now she’s pregnant, and I’m the father.
Just typing that makes me feel sick. I wake up every day hoping it’s not real, but it is. The guilt is constant. I feel like I’ve destroyed my family and any chance of a normal life.
I don’t know what to do or where to turn. I’m scared for her, for the future, and for what this means for both of us. I know people will judge, and maybe I deserve that—but right now I just feel lost.
Has anyone ever dealt with something this heavy or complicated? I don’t even know what kind of help to ask for. I just know I can’t carry this alone anymore.
